Thoughtcrime does not entail death: thoughtcrime IS death.

[anthologia]

Because somehow I decided that reading through some of the rules for Pensacola Christian College was a good idea.

Highlights include:

'For White Glove weekend: "Men may wear jeans and collared shirts to breakfast this Saturday, [date of white glove], because of White Glove. Stone washed or acid washed denim should not be worn. Students must change immediately after breakfast."'

'It should be noted that at any time, the administration (or students authorized by the administration) may go through your room, unannounced, looking for anything unauthorized. Legally or not, this will include opening drawers and going through paperwork. You may or may not be present, and you may or may not be notified.'

'After bed-time ("lights out:" 11:00 every day, including weekends) you may receive demerits for talking, taking your contacts out, having your feet on the floor (or possibly suspended a few inches from the floor), being in the bathroom, or basically doing anything but lying in bed.'

'No local calls over 30 minutes.' (Because goodness knows if you go over thirty minutes, Satan and his devils will have enough time to crawl through your phone line.)

'You may not have: television, personal stereo (walkman), microwave, fans, skillets, hot plate, coffee pot, electric blanket, extra furniture, or a living pet (also presumably includes a "dead" pet - not clear whether this includes pet rocks or plants) of any kind.'

'You may not put up a picture of unmarried people in physical contact unless they are "little kids." (these are sold in the bookstore).'

'As stated in the Student Handbook, leaving campus is a "privilege;" one which the administration will revoke as they see fit.'

'There are a myriad of restaurants the students are not allowed to go to, although faculty and staff frequent them (more specifics on campus).'

'You may not interact with a student of the opposite sex in any way off-campus without prior approval and an approved chaperone.'

'Each gender must use segregated stairways, elevators and in some cases, sidewalks.

There is to be no physical contact between students of the opposite sex, except perhaps on some "dating outings," where hand-holding games are played.

The official rule on "indirect contact" is unknown. It is much talked about, but unevenly enforced. This includes such things as tugging on a coat, poking with a pencil, etc.

Siblings of the opposite sex should not interact in unchaperoned areas to abstain from the "appearance of evil."'

'There is to be NO...

Horseplay. This is completely subjective and can be for anything from loudness to throwing a pillow.

"Indirect Horseplay." This appears to be watching "horseplay" from a distance without doing anything to stop it/being entertained by it.

Lying or any form of deception (widely interpreted and applicable only to students).' (Emphasis mine.)

'Finally there is IMPROPER PROCEDURE, which is a catch-all for anything you do which they don't want you to do, but hadn't thought of making it a rule yet.'

And, of course:

'You may not go to a public library.'

I can only assume that last rule is to prevent students from learning the meaning of the word 'totalitarian'.



P.S. A few actually made me burst out laughing:

'You may not allow the end of your belt to hang down from the belt-loops resembling a phallus.'

'You may not wipe "boogers" on the wall. This is being cracked down on.'

Comments

[semantics]

...........OH MY GOD. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PLACE.

[spiffynamehere.livejournal.com]

THEY ARE THE HOME OF THE RELIGIOUS CRAZIES THAT THE RELIGIOUS CRAZIES CONSIDER TOO CRAZY I mean I seem to remember reading that Bob Jones University thinks they're overboard.

SO STORYTIME: once upon a time, a guy my sister knew was in Pensacola for some reason or another, and he had a Chik-Fil-A calender in his room because he'd done some design work for them.

And Pensacola made him take it down because it featured inappropriately-dressed cows.

(Proving that Not Everyone trapped associated with that college is completely batshit, though, he then asked them what they intended to do about the naked cows.)

[lyntergalactic]

Mary, mother of God, that's worse than Moody was in the 80s.

[spiffynamehere.livejournal.com]

Oh, incidentally, it turns out A Beka Book is affiliated with PCC, inasmuch as they channeled their profit into funding the college.






Guess who published my English lit book!

[spiffynamehere.livejournal.com]

What is with these colleges. DDDD:

[semantics]

...hahaha I love that guy. BUT THAT IS RIDICULOUS.

[semantics]

....ew. I'm so sorry.

[spiffynamehere.livejournal.com]

There was also some other story about someone who drove past a groundskeeper who was watering flowers in the pouring rain and they were like "..." and the groundskeeper was like "It's orders. :|"

Some things will just never make sense.

[semantics]

...that poor groundskeeper. Oh my god.

[spiffynamehere.livejournal.com]

I learned not to necessarily take stuff at their word, so that's not bad.

And then I get to offhandedly mention stuff to people and they're like "..." and it's entertaining or cathartic or something.

[spiffynamehere.livejournal.com]

It was v. v. v. lolwhat. You get the impression the people in charge are the sort who wear their underwear on their heads.


/matches Mary Tamm for Mary Tamm for Mary Tamm

[semantics]

But that would be ~*~indecent~*~!

I see your Mary Tamms and bring you another Mary Tamm!!!

[semantics]

or horrific...

[spiffynamehere.livejournal.com]

Well, naturally they would cover it up with their shirts and things.

Or they could wear Gallifreyan headdress (except that Gallifrey is from Doctor Who is from SECULAR CULTURE is from THE DEVIL!!! Plus it is probably phallic.)


I see your Mary Tamm and raise you Donna and Gene being awesome!

[evil_plotbunny]

*sends a TARDIS ASAP*

[spiffynamehere.livejournal.com]

THAT TOO. I actually just linked Kisha to Hoomania which I used to like when I was little because it was about a kid who got to be in a game and I've always thought that plot was cool, except now I'm older and I know that while the plot is cool, the execution was horrifying.

And then she linked me to Candle Cove so I feel that we have fairly exchanged nightmare fuel for nightmare fuel.

[spiffynamehere.livejournal.com]

If you read the letters and things, there's one person who mentions that they went there because they didn't have a choice and I was just like DDDDD:

Jesus cannot approve of this stuff.

[evil_plotbunny]

Not at all. :( :( :( :(

I hope this is the worst of your options, but I have this awful fear that it isn't. :(

[spiffynamehere.livejournal.com]

Oh goodness, this isn't even an option. Even MY family considers them extreme to the point of crazy.

I'm scheming to get into a non-religious college.

[evil_plotbunny]

You don't know how much of a relief that is to hear. :)

Good luck on the non-religious college thing. Or even a college that is affiliated with a religion but doesn't force it on their students in insane ways.

[spiffynamehere.livejournal.com]

♥!

[ashen_key]

What the ever-lasting fuck?

WHY ARE SKILLETS FORBIDDEN?

[evil_plotbunny]

♥ back atcha!

[evil_plotbunny]

They're afraid you might hit someone over the head with it in a fit of insanity caused by their strange rules. Probably.

[spiffynamehere.livejournal.com]

'You may not open your window.

You may not adjust your thermostat.'

We control the horizontal.

We control the vertical.

[ashen_key]

But. But. COOKING IS GOOD.

[ashen_key]

People are goddamn CRAZY.

[spiffynamehere.livejournal.com]

I cannot disagree with that statement.

[lilpocketninja.livejournal.com]

that was the only sane rule I saw xD Most of that kind of stuff is forbidden at the public university I go to.

[lilpocketninja.livejournal.com]

I wish that any of this were shocking to me in the least.

[spiffynamehere.livejournal.com]

Pensacola is v. v. special.

As are a lot of places.

But especially Pensacola.

[lilpocketninja.livejournal.com]

Well, the city itself is pretty fun. But the school is cray-cray. @.@ pre' sure my parents would be very happy if I had gone.